Quote of the week

You know how sometimes when you really don't want to make a mistake that seems to trigger all kinds of mistakes?
After Herbert H. Heebert's girlfriend leaves him, he is determined to stay away from women. Fate has a different idea for him, though. He takes up a job at what turns out to be a boarding house for young ladies. Now Herbert is always eager to please and to do everything just right.
So when Willard C. Gainsborough, a quite dangerous looking fellow - the C stands for killer, you know - comes to pick up his girlfriend, Herbert does his best - and fails miserably.

Willard: Well, where's my girl?
Herbert: Well, I just wanted to tell you ...
Willard: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You went up to get my girl, right?
Herbert: Yeah.
Willard: You didn't get close to her, right?
Herbert: No.
Willard: You didn't get even near her, right?
Herbert: That's right.
Willard: Now you come downstairs, you got lipstick on your face.
Herbert: Oh, that's not ... when I went ...
Willard: Hold it! I don't believe it. Do you know you're sitting on my hat? Do you know that's my brand new hat? Do you know that you better get up and give me my hat!
Herbert: Maybe we could get it weaved.
Willard: Fix the hat.

And that's what Herbert does. Well, kind of. So when Willard's girlfriend is coming downstairs ... look for yourself.

The Ladies Man, USA, 1961

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