Quote of the week

I'm living at a place I like to call The Museum - one of these days I'll have to get myself a sign over the door - which refers not only to some of my vintage furniture, but also to my small collections. Let's face it, I'm not the modern kind of person. Tiled floors with a single sofa in one corner and shelves of brushed metal, not for me.
For that reason the following is hilariously funny to me.

While her daughter Saffron is away to get married in Africa, Eddy decides to get her kitchen re-done, again. She brings in her old friends Bettina and Max to do the job which turns out to be not such a good idea.

Max: "How are we doing?"
Bettina: "There's still too much in here."
Max looks around the empty white kitchen.
Bettina (pointing at the table): "I want ... that out of here."
Max: "We can't get it out."
Bettina (exasperated): "Jesus."
Max: "Steady."
Bettina (whispering): "I have to start with white box."
Max: "It, it IS white box."
Bettina is walking over to the table.
Max: "Erm ... what do we think ... over, over here?"
Bettina (looking at the white emptiness): "Do we need anything more?"
Max: "Well, a little, I think ... for the client."
Bettina (yelling and pointing at the table): "I want that out!"
Max: "We can't get it out."
Bettina: "Why??"
Max: "Cos you've taken out the stairs!"

The next moment Eddy comes flying down ... after all there are no stairs. It doesn't end well. Bettina has to be put back on medication, and Eddy is sitting in an empty kitchen with her friend Patsy and her assistant Bubbles when Saffron comes home ...

A friend of mine used to say that she wanted a loft with just a chair in it. Makes me wonder if she's one of Bettina's relatives ;-)

Absolutely Fabulous - White Box, UK, 2004