I'm sorry, I really am.
So you sit there, type in a keyword and happily click on a link leading to my Etsy store in the hope it'll give you what you want. And then - the shock. Where are they? The stitch markers, the green glass flower plate, the brass or chocolate leaf sprigs?? They are nowhere to be found? All there is is jewelry, wire and a bit of polymer clay? Oh, come on now, Google, aren't we constantly being told that you are our friend?
If you think that's all now, don't be fooled. There is much more damage done. Let me give you a list once more of my favorite keywords that led to my Etsy store the last weeks - beside the stitch markers etc.
1. Zipper flowers - I might be able to make some from wire, but if I am not much mistaken, I haven't mentioned the word zipper anywhere yet.
2. Cotton convertible dress - again, I DO NOT SEW. Not a dress, not a shirt, not a skirt. I don't sew, Google. Get over it.
3. City girl cap - no idea what that is. Am I only allowed in the city wearing a special cap? I'd be grateful for hints on that one before I get myself arrested.
4. Sugar and creamer set with tray - I bet I could make that! Of course the sugar and cream wouldn't stay in their bowls with all those holes that happen to be there with wire crochet, but ... ok. I guess I can't make that.
5. Vinyl monograms for cars - now we start to make sense. Not!
6. Inlaid cribbage board - ok, I can't even think of a good comment for that one.
7. Environmentally friendly spoon rest - you know if you take one of my little bowls and maybe put kitchen tissue undernea... you don't think so? Just a try, I don't, either.
8. Buy a mojito pound cake - I don't sew, I don't bake. And if I bake, I don't sell it out of fear of being sued.
9. Polar bear totem - huh???
10. Live poultry t shirts - I think that's my favorite one. Without thinking much I imagined a live chicken clinging to a t-shirt, then I figured an image of one would do, too. Next I thought maybe there is a punk band called "Live Poultry", I wouldn't be surprised. I still don't know what the person was looking for, but I know it was not in my shop for sure.
To be honest and open, though, there was one visit from the keywords "wire crochet". 27 pages in one visit. I sure am glad at least somebody had fun on my Etsy for 4 minutes ....