Midsomer, um, Göppingen Murders, episode 1

Trigger warning - disturbing graphic content. Kind of ... 😼

"I have seen a lot over the years, Inspector, but a heinous crime like this one ..." The old lady had to hold back the tears and sniffled a bit. "I hadn't expected anything like this and the shock when I saw ..."
"Why don't you take a seat and try to calm down a little? Maybe a cup of tea?"
"That would be nice, there's a box with bags next to the fridge where the kettle is." Still shaking, the old lady sat down on one of the chairs standing around the dinner table. The inspector, used to taking in all details, noticed the claw marks on it.
Once the old lady had calmed down a bit, she told the whole story. She had had a very nice nap after being downtown for a while and got up to go to the bathroom. There it was, a bright orange parcel on the floor, scattered around it pieces of plastic and orange cardboard.
"It had been standing next to the door across the hallway", she said. "I hadn't got around to put it away yet. I didn't expect an attack like that." Her lower lip wobbled a bit.
"That wasn't what shocked you, though, was it?"
"No. I just put it back and picked up the plastic and cardboard. But then ... the water bowl .... in the water bowl ..." Her hand went to her mouth. "I heard it and I didn't do anything. I thought it was just him knocking his grocery store box around. He likes to play in it. I wouldn't have thought he was capable of this." She pointed into the hallway where forensics was at work.
"I understand that you didn't know the victim."
"No, he had only just arrived in town and I hadn't met him yet. How could he do it, Inspector, how could he??"
The Inspector wished he had an answer for her ...

Actually, it's not the first murder here. We are almost as bad as Midsomer County.
Over 13 years ago, there was an episode of CSI: Göppingen, and of course no one who witnessed it will ever be able to forget the Christmas Massacre of 2018 (the "dead" woolie parrot next to me in bed was a bit creepy). There is more that was never documented, but will remain unforgotten.

But honestly, I had just had a great nap with my snuggle buddy and then this?
It was surprising enough to see he had dragged the - not too light, I might add - box with the cat food into the bathroom (the toilet is by itself in a pretty small room which must have made things more difficult for him).
And yes, I had heard him, but there's said box in the hallway which he absolutely loves to jump around in and slide into (it's open at one side) or take toys in there with him. I did think it was a bit loud this time, but it's der Dekan and he can be both as silent as a snake or as loud as an elephant herd, and you would think he'd commit murder without a big ruckus.
Then he comes to the bed, curls up in my arm for a nap, exuding innocence and cuteness, and lets me stumble upon his victim later? Shameful.

When I saw the parcel, I was flabbergasted for a second. It has not been the first time that der Dekan tried to get something out through one of the grip holes that these boxes have. He managed to kill a kibble bag before (without making it to the kibbles, though, a big disappointment). He's also pretty good in knocking stuff all over the place and making it turn up in other rooms.

He worked hard on the food box, and believe me, this is some sturdy cardboard. The grip holes hadn't even been open, but obviously the small perforation gap around them had been enough to draw him to the scent in the box (probably that of the dried deer strips which he would gladly kill me for, if I hold one over his head, he comes up like a shark out of water).

Towards the holidays, my cat food supplier adds toys as a gift to the parcels. I didn't even know that they had already started until my sister told me.
Maybe it was the disappointment about not getting the good stuff out of the parcel which made den Dekan send Mr. Raccoon (?) to sleep with the fishies (leading a fish gang he's an expert in these matters)?

I regret nothing!!

I'll be completely honest with you. When I walked by the water bowl, I had to laugh out loud. This is such a Dekan move.
Oh, and if you wonder, by the way, why Gundel didn't tell the story this time, she slept through all of this on her pillow. Being boss of the household is very tiring.
And der Dekan, well, it would have been a very short post because all I got from him was "No comment"! 😎


P.S. The parcel is behind a locked door now. The day after I'm writing this, we are going to open it together. If you don't hear from me anymore, the brat trampled me to get to the good stuff.

P.P.S. He didn't trample me, but when we opened the parcel, I found that he had shredded the plastic window in the bag of the deer slices that I got for the poodles upstairs 😂