Do you belong to the many people who have watched "Downton Abbey"? Then you know that the Earl of Grantham originally married his American wife Cora to save his estate with her money.
That wasn't unusual at all. Quite a lot of so-called "dollar princesses" married into titled families, most of them from Great Britain. Those needed the money and the families of the young ladies, often belonging to the "nouveau riche" (meaning "new money"), gained social standing. A win-win situation, right? Well, not always if the couple didn't fall in love like the Granthams did.
Today's silent movie is about such a dollar princess. It's Ernst Lubitsch's "The Oyster Princess" from 1919.
I present to you - the plot. With spoilers.
Be prepared, this movie is subtitled "a grotesque comedy".
First we meet Mr. Quaker, the American oyster king.
He's so obscenely rich that he has more servants than you can count, four of them just to hold his ridiculously huge cigar, blow his nose, put the coffee cup to his mouth, and comb his hair.
Mr. Quaker has one daughter, Ossi. She's so spoilt that she throws a tantrum breaking vases when a fellow debutant marries an Earl.
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| "I'll buy you a prince." Said and done, Dad orders Ossi one from the matchmaker via letter. | 
The matchmaker chooses the impoverished Prince Nucki, but Nucki tells him his friend Josef with whom he's sharing his place will have a look at the lady first.
When Josef arrives at the Quaker palace (awesome production design!), he's asked for his card and presents one Nucki's card because he doesn't have one of its own. After waiting forever for Ossi to get ready to see him, she hardly says hello before dragging him off to the wedding - performed through a window, no time to lose.
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| No need to ask him to say "I do", Ossi decides "Prince Nucki" doesn't have a say in this matter, anyway. On the way home he even has to sit in the back of the carriage. | 
And as it was such a quick wedding, the celebration is really small, too.
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| One servant per course per guest, can it get any smaller? Of course there are a few more people in the kitchen ... | 
While "Prince Nucki" enjoys the food and drink, the real prince is torn away from his pickled herring by his friends and joins them for a bender.
Still drunk in the morning, he gets picked up and taken to the "Association of Billionaires' Daughters for the Prevention of Dipsomania" where he catches Ossi's eye. She's not the only one interested in him, so the only solution is of course a boxing match between all of them - unsurprisingly she wins it.
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| Nucki is overwhelmed by so much womanpower. I'm overwhelmed by that amazing outfit. | 
Ossi and Nucki are attracted to one another right away, but there's the little matter of Ossi being married to Josef ... or is she?
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| Here's looking at you, kid. | 
Just when they break out in tears about their hopeless love, Josef comes into the room and tells them that everything is alright because he got married under Nucki's name! Not sure what the priest would have to say about that (although there have been royal weddings with a stand-in for the bridegroom in the olden days), but they have their happy ending now!
As I said, this is labeled as a grotesque comedy and therefore the plot itself isn't really as important as the individual jokes, so we can ignore little things as the quick wedding with the wrong man under the right name.
The whole movie is like a whirlwind blowing us from one situation to the next one and I thoroughly enjoyed it which is weird because if you looked at it rationally, you probably wouldn't approve of any of the main characters.
Mr. Quaker is so rich that nothing can impress him anymore. Wherever he goes, a crowd of servants follows him. When Ossi says that the Shoe Polish King's daughter has married an Earl, Mr. Quaker writes to the matchmaker that obviously oysters are better than shoe polish, so he'll need a prince. He's not much interested in the wedding itself, though, as long as the bridegroom's family tree is suitable.
Ossi is so spoilt that she needs about 20 maids just to take a bath and get dressed. She marries the fake Prince Nucki just for the title.
Prince Nucki doesn't have anything but his title, but when the matchmaker visits, he's still trying to keep up appearances by sitting on the most ridiculous "throne", with Josef standing by his side.
He even has to borrow the money for the night out with his friends.
Josef, well, for a bit I wondered how they would solve that because Josef doesn't just enjoy the opulent meal, but he wouldn't even say no to a night with his new bride under false pretenses. What a friend.
At least he's loyal to Nucki at the end.
Lubitsch is really poking fun in all directions, not just at the nouveau riche, but just as much at the aristocrats who would do anything to have some money again.
And for some reason it works. I didn't really dislike any of them although they would have deserved it.
My favorite was Ossi. Ossi Oswalda - the "German Mary Pickford" - played the brat with such energy and charm that she was simply cute. It's hard to describe it. There are a few really fun scenes, such as Ossi's attempt at caring for a "baby", but also the sudden outbreak of a "foxtrot epidemic" which makes the whole house dance including the staff. As Josef is still busy eating, Ossi just asks a servant in the hallway if he can dance the foxtrot and off they go.
The foxtrot scene is really hilarious, they all just get swept away by the music.
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| With a band leader like that - what could go wrong? He was in it with heart and soul ... and body! Made me laugh so hard. | 
I had heard of the movie before and really wasn't disappointed by this early Lubitsch comedy which he called (according to the German "Lexikon des internationalen Films") his "first comedy with a definite style", the step "from comedy to satire".
Definitely one for the re-watch list!
Sources:
1. Fritzi Kramer: The Oyster Princess (1919) - A Silent Film Review. On: Movies Silently, March 15, 2013
2. Jim Tudor: The Oyster Princess / Meyer from Berlin (1919). On: Zekefilm, July 11, 2023
3. Vor 100 Jahren: Uraufführung von "Die Austernprinzessin". On: Stummfilm-Magazin, June 12, 2019 (in German)











































