skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Who doesn't need money?
We work for it, we play the lottery hoping that will do the trick, we rob banks and steal the petty cash at work (okay, so most of us do NOT do that which is a good thing), but there are also innovative ways of earning money. How about this idea by the lovely Aimi MacDonald?
"I'm appealing to you again on behalf of the Make the Lovely Aimi MacDonald a Rich Lady Fund. I'm afraid it's bad news. We've had a very poor response so far. Come on, Great Britain, you can do better than that! Do you realise that if each of you sends me just one pound, that will be enough to keep me in luxury for hours. So, don't be a meany, give generously to this deserving cause. Next week, I should be reading out a list of all those who have not yet given. Thank you and good luck."
Let me know if you try it and how it works out.
At Last the 1948 Show, UK, 1967
Wouldn't we all like to think the way the Dowager Countess does ....
Isobel Crawley: How you hate to be wrong.
Violet Crawley: I wouldn't know. I'm not familiar with the sensation.
Downton Abbey, UK/USA, 2010 - 2015
Do you have an advent calendar? I mean a chocolate one, not one of the really old-fashioned ones with just pictures in it (which I would like to have next year, please) and not one with toys, jewelry or cat snacks in it ;-)
I have one which was given to me by a friend who had got two. It's nothing exciting, but hey, it's chocolate. Unfortunately I have to admit that I cheated and made up for it again, kind of. There was a day when I was craving chocolate so badly and had nothing at all in the house so that I had to go raid the calendar. Only three doors, really. And I made up for it by not opening any door at all after that.
Let's see how others handle that, for example Geraldine who is a vicar in a small British village full of wacky people ....
Clock starts beeping.
Geraldine: Chocolate time. Now then, Alice, tell me. Exactly how many chocolate advent calendars is the maximum a greedy person should have?
Alice: I don't know. I would have thought thirty.
Geraldine: Good! Good! I've got it about alright then.
The Vicar of Dibley, UK, 1994 - 2015
Although today's movie is not really a Christmas movie, it became an annual tradition for many people including myself. Just hearing the title melody puts me in a Christmas mood.
It's the fairy tale of Cinderella with a twist. This Cinderella is bit of a tomboy. She has her own horse that she likes to ride if she can get away from her mean stepmother and stepsister, she climbs trees, and she's an excellent archer. Actually that is how she meets the prince twice before the ball.
The first time she keeps him from shooting a fawn and in the following chase she not only escapes from him and his two friends, but even takes his horse to do so.
The second time she meets him during a hunt. By now she has received the three magic hazelnuts. In the first one she found a hunter's outfit and being such a good archer she wins the challenge of the hunt. The prince doesn't recognize her for the "little girl" he has met before. She climbs up a tree, lets her hair down and talks to him as the girl, then hides from him.
Then Cinderella is at the ball, wearing a lovely gown that came out of the second hazelnut.
The prince is blown away by her, but she won't agree to marrying him until he solves a riddle.
Prince: Answer me. Will you marry me?
Cinderella: First I'll present you with a riddle that you have to guess. The cheeks are smudged with ashes, but it's not the chimney sweep. A hat with feathers, the crossbow over the shoulder, but it's not a hunter.
The prince shrugs not knowing the answer.
King: Whatever can they ...
Queen: Calm down. You will get to know.
Cinderella: Thirdly, a silver brocaded gown with train for the ball, but it's not a princess, my noble sir.
The prince shrugs again.
Cinderella: No? Shame. As long as you don't know the answer to my riddle ... farewell.
What happens then? ;-) I'll give you a hint. There's still the third hazelnut, you remember? Guess what's in it ... a beautiful wedding gown!
Three Wishes for Cinderella, Czechoslovakia/East Germany, 1973
"What do you mean, you have never seen this movie before??" "I've seen parts, but somehow I never got the chance to watch the whole movie." "You have to see it. It's hilarious. Watch it!" "Okay, okay, I'll watch it if I get the chance."
This was a conversation between a friend and myself. Hans, this post is for you. I wish we could laugh about this together now.
What can go wrong on Christmas? If you are the family Griswold? Everything. It starts with the tree and ends with - nah, no spoilers. Well, one.
How about the lights ... Clark has put a few on the house. Okay, a lot. Enough to light up a small airfield. You know how it is, though. One bulb isn't working, and the whole thing doesn't work.
Russ: Well, Dad, it was a good try.
Clark: Thanks, Russ. Russ.
Russ: Yeah?
Clark: We checked every bulb, didn't we?
Russ: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm sure of it.
Clark: I thought so. Well, maybe we ought to go up there and just ...
Russ: Oh. Whoa. Jeez! Look at the time. I gotta go to bed. Brush my teeth. Feed the hog. I've still got some homework to do. Do the laundry. Wash the car. I've still got those bills to pay .... (walking off)
Don't worry. In the end it turns out it was just a switch, even if Clark went up again to check the bulbs. Just a switch.
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, USA, 1989
The other day a co-worker and I talked about retirement. He asked me if I couldn't retire soon and I asked back how old he thought I was? I loved the way he hurried up to say "40?" I'm not weird about my age. I'm 50 and don't have a problem with that, by the way.
The little talk reminded me of today's quote, though.
Marlena, senior partner Shirley Schmidt's granddaughter, has voted in the primary although she's only 17. Shirley asks her colleague Carl Sack to represent her in court.
Carl: Straight probation, six months, and you take your instruction video off YouTube.
Shirley sighs in relief.
Marlena: No.
Shirley: Wait a minute, did you just say no? They're willing to let you go, Marlena.
Marlena: This is more than just me, Grammy. I am a movement. Millions of kids ...
Shirley interrupts her: Oh, give me a break!
Marlena: I would think you of all people would understand being a former suffragette, that sometimes you have to stand ...
Shirley interrupts her again: The law is black ... Did you just call me "a former suffragette"?
Marlena: Aren't you?
Shirley: How old do you think I am?
Marlena: I don't know, erm, 80?
Carl closes his eyes looking as if he's hurt.
Shirley: Please leave now. And take the window, it's faster.
She should have tried "40" instead ;-)
Boston Legal, USA, 2004 - 2008
What is it about minibars? I can understand cravings in a hotel room in the middle of the night when you don't feel like shopping (IF there is even a place where to shop in your neighborhood) and going for that expensive pack of peanuts (also a quote from this show).
Or is it because it is something out of the ordinary for you to be in a hotel? Does the appeal go away if you have to stay in hotels a lot?
Is it the miniature size of the bottles? Two shops in my town, both long gone, had those cute miniature bottles of brand stuff that was so incredibly expensive compared to a big bottle, but so perfect as a little gift.
I remember one time in a hotel when I didn't feel like going out for dinner with my ex and his colleagues because I knew they were going to talk physics and engineering and whatnot. I regretted that pretty quickly (even though it was the night when I saw my first X-Files episode) because I was so hungry, and I kept reading the menu up and down, but room service, really? That was the only time ever when I treated myself to some nuts from the minibar. Desperate measures, my friends, desperate measures. Afterwards I was hungrier than before.
Jane: How many people are actually coming to this thing?
Lisbon: Nobody knows exactly.
Jane: Okay.
Lisbon (close to tears): How did this happen? This is not what I wanted!
She sighs.
Jane: Well, I like the sylvan theme.
Lisbon: We should have just eloped like you said.
Jane: What about your family?
Lisbon: Ah, they wouldn't care. I just talked to them at the hotel. They found the minibar. They're like cavemen arguing over a dead antelope.
Jane: Well ... let's run. Huh?
You may just ignore my thoughts about minibars. Actually I finally
wanted to quote from one of my favorite TV shows which happens to have
one of my crushes star in it.
On the other hand, what is really about it them?
Maybe you'll tell me after all what you think.
The Mentalist, USA, 2008 - 2015
As we are getting closer and closer to Hallowe'en, I felt a horror movie would be a good choice for this week's quote.
Now I'm not a big fan of most horror movies - well, unless they are old classics or really bad and thus add to the fun of Saturday night family dinner - simply because I'm a wimp. There was this one dream when I was a kid, whoa. Only my brother coming into the room saved me from this one, I swear.
Humor helps, too. Of course you have to appreciate that kind of humor. I remember watching this movie together with my sister(s?) and a friend of my sister's, and he didn't quite get what we thought was so funny.
What's not funny about a vampire moving in next door from you? Don't tell me you would be scared.
Charley's new neighbor is a vampire, but no one will believe him. And then his Mom even invites Jerry Dandrige inside for a drink. Charley's only chance may be to call on vampire killer Peter Vincent, but unfortunately Mr. Vincent just played a vampire killer in movies - and doesn't believe him.
Charley's girlfriend Amy and his friend Ed visit Vincent who calls Dandrige to ask him if he would participate in a little charade and drink some "holy water" to convince Charley which he does. Well, drink, not convince.
Charley: If he's not a vampire, have him touch this.
He holds up a cross.
Dandrige takes a step back, but Vincent takes the cross from Charley.
Vincent: Oh, Charley. You've made a fool of yourself once. There's no reason to compound the error.
Dandrige: Yes, Charley. You've already caused your friends quite enough pain. (slightly threatening) You wouldn't want to cause them any more, would you?
Charley (looking around): No. No, of course not.
Dandrige: Then you're finally convinced I'm not a vampire, either? Right?
Charley: Yes.
Dandrige: Well, I'm glad that's settled. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this, Mr. Vincent. You've been a great help.
Everyone is walking towards the hallway except for Billy, Dandrige's friend, who stands in Charley's way smiling down at him.
Vincent: Not at all. Glad to be of service.
Dandrige: It was very nice meeting both of you. Please, please feel free to drop by anytime. You'll always be welcome.
Amy: I'd like that, Mr. Dandrige.
Dandrige: Please call me Jerry.
Vincent gets out a mirror to check his makeup and notices that he can see the whole group, but not Dandrige.
Charley: Let's get out of here.
Amy: Just a minute.
Dandrige: That goes for you too, Ed. I expect we have a lot of the same interests - you know, in horror movies and the occult.
Vincent is shocked and drops the mirror.
Dandrige: Something wrong, Mr. Vincent?
Oh yes, very, very wrong ...
Fright Night, USA, 1985
Today's quote is brought to you by the beautiful Esme. The reason is simple. She won't leave my lap and I have access to only four DVDs from here. Two of them I don't know yet and I hate watching a whole movie on my laptop. The third movie was used last week (yeah, I should put it away finally). That leaves just one which I happened to find at a one booth street fleamarket last week. Doesn't that sound exciting?
Imagine you have lost, no, not your mind, but your memory. How is it to have forgotten who you are, what kind of life you lead, who are your family and friends and where you belong?
Mike, an ex-cop who is now a private investigator, is trying to help a lady find her identity, and when she's down, he tries to cheer her up by reading tea bags.
Mike: If it makes you feel any better, I can read tea bags.
Lady: You're gonna tell me my future.
Mike: No, I'm gonna tell you your past. Okay?
Both are chuckling.
Mike: Let's see. Ah, now you ... you were born in Idaho. Your father was a potato farmer. Eh, you tell jokes real well. You're a great cook. Erm. You never get seasick, eh, except maybe for that one time on your honeymoon.
Lady: So I'm married?
Mike: Oh yeah. To Jim Tannenbaum, the Potato Prince.
Lady (laughing): The Potato Prince?
Mike: Yup.
Lady: So then I'm rich?
Mike: No, you're poor, but you have each other, so it doesn't matter. Your favorite color is red, your favorite flowers are roses.
Lady: So how'd I lose my memory?
Mike: Ah, well, once a month you take six homeless women bungee jumping off the roof of the Cal Fed building on Miracle Mile. And now, last week you bumped your head and ended up wandering around the Wilshire district until you finally ended up at St. Audrey's.
Lady: Bungee jumping?
Mike: Ooh. Yeah, you're a thrill seeker, you know.
Lady: So what's my name?
Mike: Aaah. (thinking) Grace.
Dead Again, USA, 1991
Robin Hood, the hero of my childhood. Along with Lancelot of course. We had these two books about the legends of Robin and King Arthur, and I swear I read them up and down and back again.
It's not the first time I am talking about Robin here, either. Remember this quote? And it won't be the last time, either. Now let's get to the point, though.
How would you feel if you just came home from the Crusades and saw people taking away your castle? And what if that wasn't all yet ...
Robin: Blinkin, listen to me. They've taken the castle!
Blinkin: I thought it felt a bit drafty. Grr. This never would have happened if your father was alive.
Robin: He's dead?
Blinkin: Yes.
Robin: And my mother?
Blinkin: She died of pneumonia whilst ... oh, you were away.
Robin: My brothers?
Blinkin: They were all killed by the plague.
Robin: My dog Pongo?
Blinkin: Run over by a carriage.
Robin: My goldfish Goldie?
Blinkin: Eaten by the cat.
Robin (whimpering): My cat?
Blinkin: Choked on the goldfish.
Robin is about to start sobbing.
Blinkin: Oh, it's good to be back home, ain't it, Master Robin?
Ouch.
Robin Hood: Men In Tights, USA, 1993
Have you ever wondered how I pick the weekly quotes?
I mean, there are TV shows and movies you love, but to make others understand a quote from it, you practically have to tell them the whole scene, and there are others that are so full of quotes that you can almost grab them with your hand.
Although I try to bring you a new show or movie every time, I'm in such a hurry sometimes that I can't help picking one of my old favorites. Like today.
Who knows, maybe it's one of your favorites, too.
By the way, how easily are you convinced by someone?
Westley, Inigo, and Fezzik come to the castle to save Buttercup, Westley's true love.
Westley: Give us the gate key.
Yellin: I have no gate key.
Inigo: Fezzik, tear his arms off.
Yellin: Oh, you mean this gate key.
Well, that wasn't too difficult, was it?
The Princess Bride, USA, 1987
When I was a kid, my friend's parents often took her and me hiking. Hours of walking and picking flowers here and there which we then looked up at home.
I don't remember when I stopped going hiking, but it's really not my thing anymore, for several reasons.
It's not Kenya's thing, either, but her landscaper Brian won't take no for an answer.
Kenya: Who in their right mind would go out in heat like this? I mean, what is the point?
Brian: Don't look down, look up. Look at the mountains.
Kenya: I'm looking for rattlesnakes.
Brian: Don't worry about rattlesnakes. The mountain lions eat most of them.
Kenya: Very funny.
Okay then ....
Something New, USA, 2006
You know how sometimes when you really don't want to make a mistake that seems to trigger all kinds of mistakes?
After Herbert H. Heebert's girlfriend leaves him, he is determined to stay away from women. Fate has a different idea for him, though. He takes up a job at what turns out to be a boarding house for young ladies. Now Herbert is always eager to please and to do everything just right.
So when Willard C. Gainsborough, a quite dangerous looking fellow - the C stands for killer, you know - comes to pick up his girlfriend, Herbert does his best - and fails miserably.
Willard: Well, where's my girl?
Herbert: Well, I just wanted to tell you ...
Willard: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You went up to get my girl, right?
Herbert: Yeah.
Willard: You didn't get close to her, right?
Herbert: No.
Willard: You didn't get even near her, right?
Herbert: That's right.
Willard: Now you come downstairs, you got lipstick on your face.
Herbert: Oh, that's not ... when I went ...
Willard: Hold it! I don't believe it. Do you know you're sitting on my hat? Do you know that's my brand new hat? Do you know that you better get up and give me my hat!
Herbert: Maybe we could get it weaved.
Willard: Fix the hat.
And that's what Herbert does. Well, kind of. So when Willard's girlfriend is coming downstairs ... look for yourself.
The Ladies Man, USA, 1961
I don't go to class reunions. I was there once and it didn't really do anything for me. I do like the idea of meeting only a few special people from back then, though.
Gary "The King" King has convinced his gang from the old school days to come back to their hometown with him and have an epic pub tour which they hadn't been able to complete when they were fresh out of school. Reluctantly they follow him into the adventure and get into his old Ford Grenada, "The Beast".
Gary: And we're back. Just like the Five Musketeers.
Steve: Three Musketeers, innit?
Pete: Four if you count D'Artagnan.
Gary: Well, nobody knows how many there were really, do they, Pete? I mean, history's a sketchbook.
Oliver: You do know that The Three Musketeers is a fiction, right? Written by Alexandre Dumas?
Gary: A lot of people are saying that about the Bible these days.
Steve: What, that it was written by Alexandre Dumas?
Oliver chuckles.
Gary: Don't be daft, Steve, it was written by Jesus.
Steve (sarcastic): Oh.
Gary: Anyway, five sounds much better. I think they missed a trick having only three. 'Cause you'd have five, then two could've died and they'd still have three left.
Andy (annoyed): Are we there yet?
Gary (yelling): Let's do this!!!
The World's End, UK/USA/Japan, 2013
Have you ever watched your own body language? In which situation you cross your arms or take a step back or lean forward? The looks you give others? What is subconscious, what have you trained yourself to do because it promises success in some situations?
I took a moment to stop writing and feel what I am doing right now. As so often when I concentrate on a blog post, I am sucking on my lower lip (my version of a concentrated child having its tongue tip sticking out) and squinting.
You know sometimes I'm glad I don't have to watch myself grimacing all day ... sorry, co-workers.
How about the little tricks of a district attorney?
Tom: Oh, we know that those paintings exist, and we believe you have them. Didn't you learn anything in law school?
Laura: Yeah, but Logan, we really shook him up in there.
Tom: Ya.
Laura: That look in your eyes in the end?
Tom: What?
Laura: Pure blue steel.
Tom: What are you talking about?
Laura: I'd like to develop a look like that.
Tom: You don't develop looks. You just ... look.
Laura: Not me. I practice looks in the mirror. I got one I picked up from you!
Tom: What?
Laura: I'm cross-examining someone and they give me an answer I just don't buy ... this is what you do.
She shows him the look.
Tom: I don't do that.
Laura: Yes, you do.
Tom: I don't do that.
Laura: All the time! Just like that. You stand by the jury, and you sort of give a quarter-turn and then you give that exact look.
Why don't you give it a try yourself? ;-)
Legal Eagles, USA, 1986
This fine Sunday I chose a movie I love very much and somehow always connect with Easter eggs because it was on TV one Easter Sunday many decades ago ... but that's just an extra tidbit.
It's a comedy that was filmed after a play and the playwright himself is in it.
A woman is accused of having murdered her husband, a painter. She's lying in court and when she doesn't know an answer, she faints.
When her attorney quits because even he is not convinced of her innocence anymore, a mysterious man, Peer Bille, turns up and takes over. For everything the prosecutor brings up he has a different explanation, why the rowing boat capsized, why the defendant's dress was dirty, even why she was happily humming only weeks after her husband's death.
Even the nosy neighbor's statement fails to impress him although she has not only seen a strange woman crying and talking to the grave, but also shadows of a man and a woman in the painter's studio. Did both husband and wife have lovers?
Bille: I assume, Miss Kiebitz ...
Kiebutz: Butz!
Bille: Butz ... that you were shocked by all this.
Kiebutz: I'd say so.
Bille: You covered your eyes and turned away?
Kiebutz: Not right away.
Bille: How long did you watch?
Kiebutz: Until I'd had enough.
Bille: And when was that?
Kiebutz: I didn't check the time.
Bille: You just watched the shadows. And tell us what they did. What did the shadows do?
Kiebutz: They embraced.
Bille: Go on.
Kiebutz: They kissed.
Bille: Go on.
Kiebutz: Kissed for a long time.
Bille: Go on.
Kiebutz: He kissed forehead, eyes, and mouth.
Bille: Go on.
Kiebutz: Then the shadows disappeared.
Bille: And then?
Kiebutz: Then ...
Bille: Then you waited a while?
Kiebutz: Yes.
Bille: But nothing happened?
Kiebutz: I'd had enough.
Bille: Apparently not, if you waited some more.
Laughter in the audience.
Bille: What's the distance to your house?
Kiebutz: Around 100 meters.
Bille: Congratulations. You must have great eyes for your age.
Kiebutz: I used my opera glass.
Bille: Just what I wanted to hear.
Laughter in the audience.
Bille: Thank you, no further questions.
Presiding judge: Have a seat, please. Thank you.
Kiebutz: Thank you. And rest assured, that's the last time I give the authorities a tip-off.
Hokuspokus, D, 1953
I don't know why, but the DVD very conveniently had English subtitles which I used for today's quote.
Have you ever had a roommate who was completely different from you?
How about bringing a neat freak and a slob together? How would they get along even if they were best friends?
Imagine one of them dragging the apartment into the new age - the early 70s in this case - without consulting the other one.
After Felix has sold off all of the old furniture, Oscar has to eat his breakfast standing up. He insists on getting something to sit. Little does he know what Felix has in mind, though.
Oscar: You know I hate surprises.
Felix: Yeah, but you're going to love this one. Oscar Madison, you wanted something to sit in ...
He pulls a sheet off the chair.
Felix: Here you are!
Oscar takes the hands off his eyes, sees the hand chair and covers his eyes again immediately.
Oscar: What is it?
Felix: Well, what does it look like?
Oscar: It looks like Bubba Smith's hand! I want you to tell me what it is.
Felix: It's a chair ... in the shape of a hand. A left hand, to be exact.
Oscar points at the still covered chair.
Oscar: And this, I suppose, is the right hand.
Felix: Aren't they super?!
Oscar: No! I sent you out for some chairs! You come back with a couple of hands.
Felix: But they're ... they're just like ordinary chairs. Sit down!
Oscar: But they're hands! I feel like an M&M.
The 70s are back in style even now, bell bottoms, maxi dresses, but hey,
could you see yourself living in a room like this one? Did you maybe
live in one yourself? I'd love to know!
The Odd Couple, USA, 1970 - 1975
We live in a time of constant technological progress. It's amazing - and scary - what has been invented over the last century.
Just look at old science fiction movies. Some of what used to be fiction is reality today.
One of these things are robots. Granted, we are not quite at the point where robots take over all the unloved household chores and hopefully we are far away from the point where they take over the world ;-)
Today's quote is about robot love in the 60s.
Many good agents from the secret government organization Control have already been victims of Kaos agent Octavia. It's time to send in Hymie the robot. Surely he will not fall in love with her?
Things don't quite go the way the Chief and Maxwell Smart expected them to, though. Octavia turns out to be a robot herself.
Hymie comes in while Octavia is loading her battery.
Octavia: Hi.
Hymie: Hi. May I try that?
Octavia plugs him in and Hymie starts smoking.
Hymie: I guess we're not wired the same.
Octavia: Wouldn't it be boring if we were.
Hymie: May I?
He closes the battery cover.
Octavia: Now as soon as you put all those papers in your briefcase, Hymie, we can go.
Hymie: I've never met anyone like you, Octavia.
Octavia: I've never met anyone like you, Hymie.
Hymie: You're different somehow.
Octavia: Thank you.
Hymie: The cute little way you click your eyes, the way you make my gyros race whenever you kiss me, the way my oil boils when you're near.
Ah, sweet, sweet love ...
Get Smart, USA, 1965 - 1970
A choleric hotel owner and manager, Basil, his sharp-tongued wife, Sybil, an art student/waitress, Polly, and a Spanish handyman, Manuel, who hasn't learned much English yet - a stay at this hotel is sure to be an experience of the other kind.
Basil Fawlty comes back from a short trip. Before he went he hired a constructor to put a door to the kitchen in the wall. Unfortunately instead the door to the dining room is gone. Too bad Basil didn't hire the constructor his wife had insisted on, and it won't be long before she's here ...
Basil: What am I gonna do? She's gonna be back at lunchtime.
Polly: Shh. Now wait.
Basil: I'm a dead man. Do you realize?
Polly: Easy!
Basil: You're dead, too! We're all dead!
Polly: Don't panic!
Basil: What else is there to do???
Fawlty Towers, UK, 1975 - 1979
